Re: Loners and Vacation

I'm alone.

I understand where you're coming from. In the past I was a very social person, an extrovert. I wasn't the most popular guy in school but I was invited to everything, everyone knew who I was and could easily fit in any social group. College was similar and then life changed.

I started a job that had me work long hours and travel a lot. My friends all moved away and while my girlfriend (later my wife) had social connections through her work, I never really fit in anywhere. Coworkers were either older, didn't share interests, were all homebodies, etc. So I just kind of stopped being social.

But when I traveled for work I went out and met people. Most trips I was alone so if there was a bar at the hotel I'd sit down next to someone and strike up a conversation. Sometimes they were short and uninteresting and sometimes we would end up talking all night. I ended up meeting some pretty interesting people over the years and it made boring, lonely trips a little bit better.

I also love baseball. Most years I head down to the big city and catch a few games around my birthday. Early in the season the place is pretty empty as its cold out so the next person may be a few rows away from you. I make a point whenever I show up to go find an interesting group and offer to buy a round a beers and see if they want to hang out. In the last 20 games or so I've only had one group say no.

Back in college my first year I lived in a dorm made up of only engineering students. My floor was the nerdiest of nerdy guys. When I ended up bringing a girl back to my dorm room the first week of school it was the talk of the floor. A few days later during lunch people were talking and one of my neighbors asked me "how'd you do it?" I said to him all it takes is to have confidence and not be nervous. Remember they are people too and the worst thing anyone can do to you when seeking interaction with you is to say no. You won't explode in a burst of flames. You won't shrivel up and die. They will say no and you'll say sounds good and you move on with your life. You'll never see them again and will eventually forget you ever tried talking to them.

To the original poster, go out and talk to people. They are there because they have the same interests you have. Look around and find a group that looks like people you might fit in well with and go say hi. What is the worst thing that can happen? If you're going to be there alone then being alone is probably the worst there is.

$ tags: life $

$ published: 2025-08-16 00:00 $

-- CC-BY-4.0 jecxjo 2025-08-16

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