OK, I’ve got a question for you. When addressing a foreigner by name, what is your mental calculus to decide whether or not to address formally (i.e. with -san) or not (i.e. “throw it away”)?
Posted in: s/Japan
🍵 tacomanator
May 07 · 2 weeks ago · 👍 Homer
🎈 balloon [mod] · May 07 at 13:30:
Certainly, it is an interesting question unique to Japan
In Japanese, "san" (さん) is basically added to the end of the name.
For example: tacomanator-san
This is close to the English word "Mr." or "Ms."
There are also other ways to say it than "san":
- kun (くん): usually used for boy
- chan (ちゃん): usually used for girl
The way to call them without these is to a person in a lower rank,
such as when a boss says to a subordinate.
Therefore, it is a bad condition to use words that do not add these to ordinary people.
🚀 SavaRocks · May 07 at 13:42:
Sava san
Sava kun
Both sound like an evil player in Mortal Kombat.
🚀 lars_the_bear · May 07 at 16:44:
I don't think this issue is unique to Japan. In Turkish, for example, it is respectful to add -bey or -hanım to a personal name.
As for deciding -- when I'm speaking to Japanese people in the course of business I "san" everybody. I've never mastered the intricacies of Japanese etiquette, and I'd rather be to polite than not polite enough.
🍵 tacomanator [OP] · May 07 at 20:36:
@balloon Thanks for the reply. My question was more specific though. I’m asking what factors you, as a Japanese person, draw on (often unconsciously) when deciding how to address a non-Japanese foreigner (e.g., Mike vs. Mike-san), where Japanese-to-Japanese customs do not necessarily apply.
🍀 knshow [mod] · May 08 at 01:52:
Hi @tacomanator!
This is just my personal take, but regardless of whether someone is Japanese or a foreigner, my main criteria is how close I feel to them. That’s what determines whether I use "-san/-kun" or just call them by their name.
It also depends on the time and place. Even if we’re close friends, I’d use "-san" or their job title in a professional setting.
If I were to meet you through work, I’d address you as "tacomanator-san" or by your title. But in any other case—given your kind personality and the soft, friendly sound of "taco"—I think I’d call you "taco-chan"! lol
🍀 knshow [mod] · May 08 at 01:58:
@SavaRocks
I guess it really does feel a bit off to you!
On the other hand, I often worry if I’m being rude to everyone here because I don't use "-san." I heard that in English-speaking cultures, it's normal to just use names without any titles, but I still get a bit anxious about it!
🍀 knshow [mod] · May 08 at 02:09:
@lars_the_bear
I didn't know that about Turkish! It’s interesting to learn that you have similar ways to show respect.
Also, your approach to Japanese people is perfect. When in doubt, just adding "-san" is always a safe bet! In fact, most Japanese people even add "-san" to staff members, like calling a clerk "ten-in-san" lol.
As for whether people in high positions expect foreigners to use their titles (like "Shacho" for President or "Shocho" for Director), I'm not really sure either, so I’ll leave that aside for now!
🚀 SavaRocks · May 08 at 05:15:
It seems a bit off to me, but we romanians, in order to show respect, address people with "Domnule" (for men) or "Doamna" (for women).
So, I'd be called Domnule Sava if someone wanted to show me respect.
So it's not that different. Respect is respect
🍀 knshow [mod] · May 08 at 05:24:
You’re absolutely right! "So it's not that different. Respect is respect."
As long as we don't forget that feeling, I believe it's the same in every country! <3
🚀 Ashnar · May 15 at 23:08:
Non-japanese in japan. I cannot think of a time when I have addressed any Non-japanese friends or colleagues with a Japanese honorific!! 😂